Guiding & Protecting Read online

  “If you stopped trying to find the faults in others, you would find more happiness in life,” she once proclaimed.

  Elizabeth knew it was an unrealistic way to look at the world and at people. Kitty and Lydia, especially Lydia, were riddled with shortcomings in their character, and the cruelness of ruining the pianoforte and declaring it a harmless prank was only one example of their flawed characters.

  “It matters not whether Jane is eldest, or whether she has no meanness in her, for it is very hard for the rest of us to live up to her shining example. Moreover, we are all so different we must be true to who we really are. Of course, being true to whom you are does not give you the right to harm others, and this is Lydia’s greatest problem. She does not see the harm she causes. As long as she sees it as a lark, then she believes everyone else should see it the same way.”

  “Have you tried to help Kitty see the harm in what she is doing?” He knew Elizabeth could make a difference for Kitty if she would expend some time talking to the child, for both the youngest girls were still children even if their mother was trying to foist them into the adult world by taking them along on neighborhood visits.

  “I will try. Maybe if I can help her see how much this is hurting Mary, then she might realize not all pranks are funny, and sometimes great harm can come from what others believe is harmless.” Elizabeth pondered the thought. “There must be some way I can speak to just Kitty without sounding like I am reprimanding her. If I could only keep Kitty away from Lydia, or at the least, make her see how following Lydia’s poor example was shaping her into a less likeable person, then I might be accomplishing something beneficial as her elder sister.”

  “I commend your fortitude.” Alex beamed with pride at her strength of character. Maybe she would not help change Miss Catherine, but at least she was willing to try.

  Elizabeth did like her family despite their flaws and shortcomings. Mrs. Bennet, however, did not treat her daughters equally because she had her favorites. Lydia, because she had a similar personality to her mother and shared her looks, was the favorite daughter, and Jane was a very close second because she was the most beautiful of all the Bennet daughters. Kitty was tolerated because she was favored by Lydia.

  This left Mary and Elizabeth. Their mother, fortunately, often overlooked Mary, but Elizabeth received the brunt of her mother’s reprimands and criticisms. She often thought her mother favored her least because her father favored her over the rest of the family including his wife. This, however, did not mean her father was free of flaws. He had a tendency to seek the simplest answer for all the family problems, which meant he allowed Mrs. Bennet to have her way in almost all things relating to the household, and almost always when it came to the raising and education of children.

  The exception to the rule was Elizabeth's education. Her father had begun educating her before she even learned to walk. He would read classical works of literature to her and taught her to read as soon as she was able to speak. He believed in providing her with an education equal to any son he might have had, and her mother held it against her. Her mother believed girls should be ignorant with little classical education. If they could embroider, manage a household, and flirt, then they were ready to be presented as a suitable wife to any gentleman. What her mother failed to realize was wealthy young men, who could pick their wives from London’s higher society, were looking for more in a wife than those rudimentary accomplishments. Poor Mrs. Bennet, being raised as a solicitor’s daughter in a small rural community, had no idea of what constituted a proper wife because she had never mixed with those of the upper class. Because no one in their local community really socialized with the uppers level of London society, Mrs. Bennet had no true idea of what was needed before her daughters could attract wealthy young men. Her father was of little help since he would not promote the idea of his daughters needing a governess to teach them how true young ladies should act. Therefore, the sisters’ education was left to their mother who believed no education was preferable to formal training. If it had not been for Mr. Edward Gardiner, the younger brother of Mrs. Bennet, and his wife, neither Jane nor Elizabeth would have had a role model they could follow. Moreover, Mrs. Gardiner taught the two eldest Bennet girls how to act like proper young ladies. This education, however, was not provided for the three youngest daughters, for, by the time they were old enough to benefit from such training, Mrs. Gardiner was too busy raising her own children.

  ******************************

  Elizabeth's experience was not surprising, in some sense, since it paralleled Fitzwilliam Darcy's experience. Her voice guided her through her first year before he also took on a spectral form. This spectral guardian finally physically appeared on her fifteenth birthday. Elizabeth had once again hidden from her mother who upset with her. Instead of a tree, however, Elizabeth was under a nearby bridge, which had a small nook carved into the side of the hill. It had recently become a favorite hiding place for the young lady.

  “Elizabeth Eleanor, you show yourself this very minute. I demand you explain yourself immediately,” her mother bellowed as she marched toward the bridge.

  Elizabeth knew her mother would never consider looking under the bridge, so she felt her hiding place was a safe refuge.

  “Where is that headstrong, disobedient child? She knows she needs to explain herself. I just don’t know what to do with the child,” Mrs. Bennet moaned continuing her search.

  “Miss Elizabeth, what have you done this time?”

  By now, the voice was extremely familiar to Elizabeth, but when she saw a body begin to materialize, she gave a small gasp, which she quickly stifled by placing her hand over her mouth. She feared making any sounds since she could hear her mother walking across the bridge still muttering under her breath about what an ungrateful child Elizabeth was and how she would have to come home to eat sometime. She wished she could just sneak into the house, fix a quick plate, and lock herself in her room, but she knew she would eventually have to face her mother’s wrath.

  “You have not answered my question.”

  Elizabeth was used to the voice, but this visual appearance was not only new but extremely surprising. She stared at the vision in front of her for some time before finally whispering, “I did nothing wrong. All I did was to tell him no.”

  “Whom did you tell no to, Miss Elizabeth?”

  Elizabeth continued to stare at the vision in front of her. She had often imagined what her guardian angel looked like, but she had always imagined him in some type of white flowing robe. It had never occurred to her he would be dressed as any fashionable man of the time. Maybe his suit looked a little outdated, but his cravat appeared fashionably tied, and his coat fit his form to perfection, and even his breaches looked no less perfect than those worn by Jamie Lucas’. His waistcoat, too, seemed to suit her guardian’s personality. It had a bright yellow brocade pattern, which complemented the deep forest green of the jacket and breeches. She even admired the shine on his Hessians and wondered who polished them or if, as an angel, they just keep a glossy shine. She would have to become accustomed to this new ability of his in appearing in a visual form; she would begin seeing him as well as hearing him. She suddenly realized the image in front of her was still waiting for an answer, and remembering the occurrence, she covered her mouth and snickered. Her mother was still near enough, so she could not make too loud a sound, or she would be discovered.

  “Jamie Lucas, of course,” she finally managed to reply.

  “And why did you need to tell Mr. Jamie Lucas no?”

  “I am surprised you were not with me at the time. I had hoped you would have been able to observe the spectacle so we might have spoken about it afterwards.” Elizabeth was accustomed to her guardian hovering nearby whenever anything of interest happened, so it surprised her when he had not appeared at the same time Jamie Lucas came to make his poorly worded proposal.

  “Miss Elizabeth, you have not answered my question.”

  Eli
zabeth knew her guardian was not upset with her because of his crooked smile. She smiled in return saying, “I had to refuse him because of his dreadful proposal.”

  His smile widened, and she suspected him of holding in a laugh. “Just how did he offer this proposal causing you to find it unacceptable,” he clarified his request. Over the years, he had learned words were very important to Elizabeth Bennet, and she chose her words very carefully when she spoke to people around her. Of course, he also noted she had a tendency to allow her thoughts to flow too quickly. The words were not always offensive, but the manner in which she presented them could be perceived in the wrong way and cause offense to the listener.

  “Mr. Lucas began his proposal by declaring we should marry because his mother and mine expected it of us. He stated our marriage had been something those two ladies had arranged among themselves many years ago. He also said his mother claimed it was his duty to propose to me because of those expectations. He spoke no words about his feeling on the matter, and he would not heed my comments about not committing myself to someone just because our mothers had agreed it was what they wanted. I told him we would never make each other happy and declared I did not love him. He wanted to know why I would not fulfill my duty to my mama. I informed him my marriage was not an obligation I owed to my mama but to myself. If I entered a marriage without taking into consideration happiness or love, then I would be setting in motion an event, which would ruin my future. His only reply was,” she huffed as she remembered his words, “I would spend my future as a spinster because who else besides him would even consider marrying someone as opinionated and stubborn as I.” She had been so angry at his condescending words she had wished she were not a lady because then she would have hit him.

  “Did you hit him?”

  Elizabeth noticed his smile once again broadening causing her to laugh but questioned, ‘How did he know?’

  “No, although you are correct, the thought had momentarily entered my mind. I, however, did conduct myself as a lady and was polite in my refusal.”

  “How polite?” he quarried knowing she would never give a mere ‘no’ as a reply when she felt offended.

  “I simply told him he was the last man I would ever consider marrying, and his mother and mine would just have to find him another wife who suited him better than I ever would.” Elizabeth laughed as she remembered the look Jamie had had given her. She would never understand why any gentleman would allow her wishes.

  “Elizabeth Eleanor Julianna Bennet,” her mother screeched. Whenever her mother used her full name, she knew it was not safe to return home because her mother would never stop chastising her for what she would declare was a breach of duty and obligation to her family. “I demand you present yourself immediately to your father. He will make you do your duty. He will tell you to accept Jamie Lucas and save your family's honor and home.” Her mother’s voice grated on Elizabeth's nerves and her ears, but she trusted her father would not force her into a marriage just because her mother claimed it would save the family.

  Elizabeth knew she would eventually have to return home, but currently, she had no desire to see either of her parents. She would, instead, leave her hiding place, as soon as her mother was out of sight, and walk to Oakham Mount where her mother would never dare to walk. The trek was too long for her mother whose only true exercise was walking around the garden and the short walks she took when searching for Elizabeth.

  As her mother once again crossed the bridge on her way home, Elizabeth held her hand over her mouth so as not to be heard by her mother. Even an unexpected gasp of air might reveal her hiding place, and she had no desire to be found by her mother any time soon.

  Elizabeth watched in amazement as her guardian slowly faded from sight, and moments later, he reappeared saying, “Your mother is now out of sight and sound. It is safe for you to leave.”

  She often noticed many time he seemed to know what she was going to do or say beforehand, so she began to question if he could hear her thoughts. His recent comment only intensified her belief. It was a belief she would continue to hold during the next few years.

  Two weeks after his first visual appearance, while she was once again hiding from her mother at Oakham Mount, Elizabeth decided to supply her guardian with a name.

  As he made his presence visible she commented, “I have decided I can no longer refer to you as sir or guardian, and after much consideration, I have decided I will refer to you as Alex.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, first, you have refused to reveal your name every time I have asked. Second, I can see you, so I feel you need a name. I cannot always address you as sir, although there is nothing disrespectful in it. Still, I want to be able to use something more familiar,” she explained.

  “I do understand your reasoning, Miss Elizabeth, but I wondered why you chose Alex,” he clarified.

  “It is very simple. I have always wanted a brother, and during one of my many times of mediation about such an event, I realized if I had a brother, I would have liked him to be named Alexander. I would have then called him Alex, shortening his name like Catherine and my name have been shortened.” She starred not only at him, but also through him since his visage allowed the possibility before adding. “I think you look like an Alex,” she finally declared.

  He laughed at her reasoning, but from then on, he would be Alex to her. Every time she addressed him as such, however, he would give her a small contented smile, but no matter how often she asked, he would never explain why he smiled. Until the proper time, he knew he could not explain his smile or his joy at being so addressed.

  ************************************

  Before the end of Elizabeth's fifteenth year, an event of significance occurred. It proved slightly prophetic because of her comment about Lydia causing irreparable harm through her cruel jokes. This particular joke nearly caused the death of an innocent young girl.

  Elizabeth was on one of her normal rambles through the woods when Alex appeared, slightly shocking her by the suddenness of his appearance. He did not greet her as he normally did, but bluntly ordered, “Go to the stream as quickly as possible. You are needed immediately.”

  Without hesitation, Elizabeth turned and rushed toward the river. Before she was even able to see the river, she heard Kitty screaming, “You killed her. You killed her,” which prompted Elizabeth to run in the direction of her sister’s voice.

  As soon as she neared the location, she saw Lydia and Kitty, with their backs to her, standing upon the bank and seemingly looking toward the middle of the water. As her eyes followed the line she believed they were looking, she saw something floating in the water. As she drew closer, she realized what she saw was a female, for cloth was billowing out from the body floating face down in the water. Moving quickly, Elizabeth ran into the water, waded toward the body with all haste, lifted it from the water, and began dragging it out. As soon as she reached the bank, she laid the inert body upon the ground and turned her over.

  “Maria,” she whispered. She quickly checked to see if the young girl was breathing but feared she had arrived too late.

  “Turn her head to the side and begin pushing up on her stomach,” Alex ordered.

  Never having doubted Alex in the past, Elizabeth followed his instructions. After the third push, water was expelled from the young girl's mouth and she took a breath. Elizabeth was so gratified by the sight she pushed again causing the same result.

  “You can stop, Miss Elizabeth. I believe the young girl will live, but now she needs medical attention. Someone should carry her home. You need help.”

  Without think, Elizabeth replied, “Of course. Help is needed.” Turning quickly to the screaming Kitty, who had not stopped declaring Lydia had killed the girl, she ordered, “Kitty, run home and bring James and Mr. Hill here. Do it as quickly as possible.”

  Kitty, once she heard her name, stopped screaming but only stared at her sister in shock.

  “Do it now!” Eli
zabeth shouted louder with all the authority she could summon. “NOW!” she finally yelled when her sister did not move.

  Finally attentive, Kitty turned and ran toward home.

  Elizabeth focused her attention once again on Maria Lucas. She noticed some blood on the young girl’s head and realized she must have hit it on a rock. Turning to Lydia she asked, “What happened?”

  “It was joke,” Lydia said weakly staring at her friend lying upon the ground.

  “What kind of joke?” Elizabeth could find nothing funny about Maria nearly dying.

  “I only wanted to scare her. I thought it would be funny to see her jump and scream.”

  “How did she get in the water?” Elizabeth was becoming upset with her sister’s lack of clarifying details.

  “She was crossing the stream on the rocks and fell.”

  “Why did she fall?” Elizabeth realized her tone was becoming harsher the more her sister seemed to be dragging out her explanation.

  “It was the frog,” she giggled slightly at the image she remembered.

  “Lydia,” Elizabeth clinched her teeth to stop herself from yelling. “Exactly what did you do, and how did Maria happen to fall into the stream?”

  “We were all walking, and then Kitty and I ran across the stream ahead of her. I had a frog in my pocket and I threw it at Maria knowing she would scream when it hit her. She was crossing on the rocks when I threw it. It was so funny. She was waving her hands and screaming, but she lost her footing and fell into the water. She didn’t move, then Kitty started screaming. I didn’t know what to do. It was meant to be funny,” Lydia said trying to make light of the incident.

  “You nearly killed her, Lydia. She was not breathing when I laid her upon the ground. She might be dead because of what you did. It was not funny. It was mean and cruel. It was thoughtless and could have had the worst possible consequences. I am ashamed to call you my sister,” Elizabeth sternly declared.